


maintain contact

by heartshaker



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, v short but v cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-14 06:48:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5733673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartshaker/pseuds/heartshaker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“i want my hand to be the only hand you will ever need to hold.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	maintain contact

**Author's Note:**

> this is really short and oikawa pining for his best friend :~) [tumblr](http://120hjm.tumblr.com/)  
> // v lame summary i’m sorry

Oikawa Tooru had always wanted to hold Iwaizumi’s hand. Even when they were still young, his hand craved to touch his, but he can’t. He didn’t do it. All he got was tight grips on his arm and an arm around his shoulder. He would never get himself to just grab Iwaizumi’s hand and just, hold it. Feel the warmth of his palm, rub his thumb around the back of his hand, and just overall feel Iwaizumi.

     Oikawa’s hands were always rough and calloused—a thing he didn’t much love—but he knew how smooth Iwaizumi’s hand is.  No matter how rough Iwaizumi might look or how buff he is, his hands were always smooth. And Oikawa was jealous. Too jealous. And sad. Too sad.

     His hand longed for Iwaizumi’s and he was aching. He just wanted to hold his hand, y’know? It was always too hard to ask. Like what would he even say? _Hey, Iwa-chan, I think I may have been in love with you but don’t worry about that I just want to hold your hand, ha ha ha._

     No way.

     Besides, would Iwaizumi even feel the same way?

—

Oikawa Tooru had always wanted to hold Iwaizumi’s hand. He never wondered why. It was never for saying ‘he’s mine’. No, it was more than that. It was always to feel the warmth. He wanted to feel Iwaizumi in a better way. A more personal and _oh god I love you so much please don’t forget about me_ way.

     He’d always practiced on what to say to him. Should he just say it right away? Send a text message and hide from him for twenty years? (Although it was a bit unrealistic as Oikawa can never be without Iwaizumi for more than ten minutes.) Write a letter? There were lots of options yet he couldn’t do it.

     A text message can’t make him say all of the right things.

     A letter would probably make him feel like Iwaizumi’s away.

     And, oh god, saying it right away. What if he says something stupid? What if Iwaizumi rejects him? What if Iwaizumi tells him that he already has someone and tells it to Oikawa after? There were so many (bad) possibilities and Oikawa can’t handle it. He can’t handle rejection. He can’t handle not holding Iwaizumi’s hand forever.

     It hurts.

     He’s been thinking of this since he was seven. When he realized that Iwaizumi had the tendency to cuddle with his mom. When he realized that Iwaizumi would play with his fingers when he was being asked a question. When he realized that…

     He was in love with Iwaizumi.

     He never really thought of his feelings for Iwaizumi. He’d always thought of it like _we’re both best friends and maybe he also feels like his body is exploding whenever we’re together_.

      He was lame and he just _really_ wants to Iwaizumi’s hand.

—

“Hey, Iwa-chan?”

     “What is it?”

     “I really like holding your hand. It makes me feel safe and your hand is really smooth.”

     “…”

     “…”

     “Oikawa?”

     “What is it, Iwa-chan?”

     “I really like holding your hand too.”

 

_[A](http://120hjm.tumblr.com/post/137396734050/and-i-understand-i-understand-why-people-hold)nd I understand. I understand why people hold hands: I’d always thought it was about possessiveness, saying ‘This is mine’. But it’s about maintaining contact. It is about speaking without words. It is about I want you with me and don’t go._

 


End file.
